I took a day off on either side of the long weekend; needed to recharge a bit after getting stressed out at work. As I was driving to get groceries, I started thinking about what I'm thankful for, mainly because at this time of year there's always someone at Thanksgiving dinner who wants everyone at the table to describe what they're thankful for. This is the same person who, at New Year's, wants all to share their New Year's resolutions. Of course, that person, the instigator, already has something clever and meaningful and well-thought out to say. I usually end up playing the fool a bit, making a joke; my way of dealing with the stage fright and the solemnity of it. I'm actually a little embarrassed by the fact that there are so many things I'm thankful for. Hmmm. Do I go the basic necessities route? Check. I have everything I need and more. Running water, heat and air con, cozy bed linens, clothing, sturdy shoes, food on the table? Or do I go all political? The right to vote, fair opportunities in the workplace. Or do I talk about the many perks and luxuries I enjoy? Travel, good coffee, renovations to the house, education, and hobbies? It's a luxury, having all this. I mean, I love the holiday and getting together with friends and all, but being a middle class North American, my life is an embarrassment of riches compared to millions of people in the world. It's so lopsided. We've done a lot of travelling, my husband and I, and I became ever more aware of the huge gap between the lives we lead and those of the people of the countries we were visiting. It is like another planet at times. The only time in recent memory that I wasn't painfully aware of that was when we went to Norway. In that case, we were the poor ones. It felt good to not feel ashamed of being on the lucky side of the disparity.
There I am in Nepal, photographing the people cooking corn outside on little fires made using garbage, the children barefoot in the street...and somehow I'm seeing a beauty in the poverty, as a spectator who can check it out and then go home to the clean and cushy life I have. It is twisted. How dare I be annoyed that I can't seem to get my $700 lens to click onto my camera properly. And what do I do? I guess I give my tourist dollars to the economy, I am kind and courteous to the people, I tip generously, I pay what they ask instead of bargaining, I take school supplies to give to children I meet, etc. I'm not an ugly tourist. But, I soon go back home to enjoy my privileged life. Then what?
So, that long weekend day, in the car, I almost started to cry when I did a tally of all the things I am truly grateful for. I have a warm, clean home. Not a palace, but everything's in working order. I have food; too much food. I have a warm bed and someone who loves me; I have clean, running water; hot water in abundance for showers; I have a health plan that covers medical care and prescriptions, plus extras like physiotherapy, and massage therapy, dental care and eyeglasses. I don't need to go on; you get the picture. Thing is, it's great to be thankful, but what I don't really do enough of is give back. Donating to charities, doing the big shop during the holidays to give to the food bank. That's not enough.
