My buzzword legacy


I like playing with words.  In fact, I might have actually coined an expression myself.  It is a hairstyle-related expression....."bang-xiety".

bang-xiety (origin: “bangs” , as in the fringe of hair falling over one’s forehead, paired with “anxiety”).  Definition:  The feeling you experience when the hairdresser has gone drastically TOO short with your bangs.


A bang-xious moment caught on film

I am fairly familiar with this emotion and, while I know that in the grand scheme of things, this "issue" does not rate very highly in the category of "things to waste one's energy on", in the moment it can be intense and debilitating.  Anyway, no matter how clearly I explain to my stylist that my bangs CANNOT be shorter than eyebrow level, I sometimes leave the salon looking like Jim Carrey in Dumb and Dumber or like a very round-faced Vulcan.  At least that’s how it feels when I’m in the throes of a bang-xiety attack.  Luckily, there are two treatments for bang-xiety:  admission to an Intensive Hair Unit or a decent hairband.

I’m still traumatized by the bangs I was sporting right before a holiday to Scotland.  I emerged from my appointment with an odd,  semi-circular set of bangs.  Less than flattering.  Now imagine that paired with some Montreal-purchased plaid pants that I thought would look mod and you’ve got the fashion disaster that was me roaming  the streets of Edinburgh.  I’d forgotten about the tartan/plaid/Scotland connection.  It turns out that the “uniform” for Scottish women over 60 includes plaid pants and a jacket very similar to the one I took on my travels.  At least they might have thought I was very young-looking for my age.

Which brings me to my next thought....why do people lie about their age, saying they’re younger than they are?   If I say I’m 29, people will look at me and think, “Man, she looks pretty old for a 29 year old”.   Their brains will be trying to reconcile my appearance with the age I’ve claimed and the end result will likely be negative.  If instead I lie about my age by adding 10 years, folks will be blown away by my relatively youthful looks.  End result: positive.  “Wow, you look fantastic! “   Just something to ponder.

Back to playing with words.  Sometimes I hear a word or phrase and I think "That would be a good name for a band". I enjoy it for a minute, then I go on with my day. I rarely remember them. One that has stuck with me for years, though, is "noodle puke". Classy, I know; one post in and I’ve used the word puke. I don’t remember where the term came up (ha ha), but it seemed like a great name for a punk band.

Come to think of it, you could interpret this expression a couple of ways.  Literally or....and I prefer this one....you could interpret "noodle" as meaning "brain", and "puke" in terms of "expression"...i.e. to travel from the inside, out.  You end up with "brain expression". An idea or thought expressed. Or "brainstorm". You know what?  I’m going to start using "noodle puke" and its various forms at work, in meetings. "Tom, let’s do some noodle-puking and see if we can’t lay the foundations of the new strategic plan."   I hope against all hope it catches on.  It could be my legacy.  Years from now, mid-level government workers could be holding "noodle-puking sessions" to come up with ideas for trimming the budget.